Do you ever contemplate death? Do you ever wonder how it's all going to end? Hmmm, sounds like the beginning to a long forgotten teenage angsty poem I once wrote.
So, last Friday, I had food poisoning. Bad shrimp salad I scarfed down late Thursday night. Probably should have noticed it was rank, but I was hungry and it tasted fine. Ended up paying for my last minute meal by throwing up for 18 hours beginning the moment I opened my eyes come Friday morning.
As I lay in my bed contemplating my misery, I thought, you know, I'm always sick. I've always got a cold, or an allergy attack, or an attack of arthritis, or whatever. And I thought, I'm a 33 year old woman who is not in terrible shape, a smidge overweight, works out occasionally, but no matter what I do or eat, I'm always sick. Granted some of my ailments are whiny, poor me complaints, but hey....
I've always been sick. As I child, I rarely had a good weekend when I wasn't vomiting or had a fever. And yet, doctors just told my parents I was just being a kid. I don't like to medicate, but I was definitely over-medicated in the antibiotics department as a kid. Since moving to Florida, having all of these allergies doesn't help either. And when I'm sick with a cold, boy is it a doozy! My hubby will be sick for a day, I'm sick for a week. He gets a fever. I get a fever, coughing, and vomiting. He has a stuffy nose, I get a double ear infection.
And that's how I know what my death will be. I will be one of those old people lying a hospital bed dying of .... pneumonia. Not glamorous. Just coughing my brains out until I drown in my own fluids. Wonderful. But, hopefully, I'll be a hundred and twenty-five with 75% of me bionically replaced while scores of great great great grandchildren weep at my passing.
Or I'll die in a few months when the world ends as the Mayan calendar predicts. Time will tell!
Monday, February 20, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentine's Day Part II
What an action packed day! After a late night, things didn't go as smoothly this morning as I had hoped. Even with all the prep work I did last night, we still managed to just get to school on time. So much for the quick Publix trip! I was so relieved that I actually hadn't signed up to bring strawberry syrup, I almost cried. I had only signed up to bring cookies, candies, 18 valentines, two packages of filler toys, as well as 2 things of flowers for the teachers plus cards as well as his lunch, snack, water bottle, tote bag, and folder. For a 5 hour preschool class, I felt like I had packed a week's worth of stuff.
So, Publix didn't work out first thing. I would have made it after drop-off if I hadn't run into the two moms outside chatting about the parent's board meeting I had missed yesterday morning. (Elora was sick.... and yes, I just plain old forgot). After hearing all the appalling stuff that happened, it actually made my life a little easier. Meaning, no regrets about switching schools next fall. Adios, Methodist church! Good luck with DCF!
Of course, I had to call my friend to gossip all about the juicy and shocking tidbits the ladies this morning dropped. I managed to get to the play group on time, but my poor friend was forced to be late as she gave up her precious preparation time to listen to my lurid tale. Since her son attends the same school, naturally she'd want in on the dirt. I love her. She's one of those rare friends you come across in life who laughs at your jokes and agrees with all the stuff that shocks you. And we agreed a lot this morning!
That brings us to the fun part of the morning - Valentine's Day party for the play group I run! 18 kids and lots of sugar, couple that with a lot of stickers and glue, add a swimming pool and you have yourself a toddler/preschool blow out. And yes, someone ended up in the pool. Several little someones in fact - mine included. And while I have a great time at these things, I sometimes feel that I start one million conversations and finish none. I must have said, "I'll be right back, hold that thought..." over a dozen times. If my friends had actually waited for me, there would be a lot of brain dead ladies tonight. I can only hope I come across as flighty and not bored or rude. The best part of the whole morning was watching Elora in her little group and seeing how happy she was with her friends. Each of whom she knows by name. And each of whom she absolutely adores. Good, I want her to be a popular girl, loving girl when she grows up.
We only had a enough time at home to change clothes before we had to pick up Gavin. It turned hot and my polyester clothes were making me smell. That and Elora was naked in the back seat on the way home after her little escapade. At the school, Gavin hopped in the back seat with a giant basket of loot and much sugar consuming ensued. As well as much fighting over said sugar.
A few moments after we settled in at home, my mom visited with some lovely little gifts for us. She's so good about things like that. A great workbook for the boy, a coloring book and crayons for the girl, my hubby's favorite chocolates, and a cute nightshirt for me. I hope she liked her bought-in-a-rush flowers and lipstick. I don't have a lot of time to be thoughtful.
Right after that visit ended, MIL comes over for a chat. It always makes me nervous to have her in my home. I defer so much to her in her abode, but here, I am queen. And I don't feel comfortable showing her my dominating side. I always feel like it's going to end in a confrontation. But it doesn't. Maybe I should just relax. Anyway, she brought the kids some cards with money and two apples. Never mind it looked like the Wicked Queen giving out treats to the unsuspecting innocent....
As she was leaving to pick up her dad from the senior center, my friend from this morning called and said she was free to pick up Elora's bed at the mattress place. We had a good laugh there watching the men rush in and out of the Publix buying flowers for their wives/significant others at 5:30 in the afternoon. Nothing like waiting til the last minute, boys! Even funnier was knowing my own husband was at that very minute buying me flowers at a different Publix down the road. You can't go two miles in this town without tripping over a Publix. Thank God they have great deals or I'd be scared we were in some sort of Stepford grocery invasion!
Bed home, friend thanked, dinner eaten, kids bathed, Brian and I put the bed together. Elora was so excited to have a big girl bed until she saw the crib being put away. Then, she cried! Oh, she cried. Grieved? But, it was short lived as she saw her big girl bed take shape - a big, beautiful mahogany twin bed with turned spindle headboard and footboard. From the forties, maybe? Just perfect for a little girl's room done in a French rose cottage motif. She climbed right up and was immediately fast asleep.
And that brings us to now... the boy and the husband are sitting on the couch killing bunnies on some app on his and my phone. Nice to know we still communicate! (As I sit and type on my laptop ignoring them)
Good night, y'all! And Happy Valentine's Day!
So, Publix didn't work out first thing. I would have made it after drop-off if I hadn't run into the two moms outside chatting about the parent's board meeting I had missed yesterday morning. (Elora was sick.... and yes, I just plain old forgot). After hearing all the appalling stuff that happened, it actually made my life a little easier. Meaning, no regrets about switching schools next fall. Adios, Methodist church! Good luck with DCF!
Of course, I had to call my friend to gossip all about the juicy and shocking tidbits the ladies this morning dropped. I managed to get to the play group on time, but my poor friend was forced to be late as she gave up her precious preparation time to listen to my lurid tale. Since her son attends the same school, naturally she'd want in on the dirt. I love her. She's one of those rare friends you come across in life who laughs at your jokes and agrees with all the stuff that shocks you. And we agreed a lot this morning!
That brings us to the fun part of the morning - Valentine's Day party for the play group I run! 18 kids and lots of sugar, couple that with a lot of stickers and glue, add a swimming pool and you have yourself a toddler/preschool blow out. And yes, someone ended up in the pool. Several little someones in fact - mine included. And while I have a great time at these things, I sometimes feel that I start one million conversations and finish none. I must have said, "I'll be right back, hold that thought..." over a dozen times. If my friends had actually waited for me, there would be a lot of brain dead ladies tonight. I can only hope I come across as flighty and not bored or rude. The best part of the whole morning was watching Elora in her little group and seeing how happy she was with her friends. Each of whom she knows by name. And each of whom she absolutely adores. Good, I want her to be a popular girl, loving girl when she grows up.
We only had a enough time at home to change clothes before we had to pick up Gavin. It turned hot and my polyester clothes were making me smell. That and Elora was naked in the back seat on the way home after her little escapade. At the school, Gavin hopped in the back seat with a giant basket of loot and much sugar consuming ensued. As well as much fighting over said sugar.
A few moments after we settled in at home, my mom visited with some lovely little gifts for us. She's so good about things like that. A great workbook for the boy, a coloring book and crayons for the girl, my hubby's favorite chocolates, and a cute nightshirt for me. I hope she liked her bought-in-a-rush flowers and lipstick. I don't have a lot of time to be thoughtful.
Right after that visit ended, MIL comes over for a chat. It always makes me nervous to have her in my home. I defer so much to her in her abode, but here, I am queen. And I don't feel comfortable showing her my dominating side. I always feel like it's going to end in a confrontation. But it doesn't. Maybe I should just relax. Anyway, she brought the kids some cards with money and two apples. Never mind it looked like the Wicked Queen giving out treats to the unsuspecting innocent....
As she was leaving to pick up her dad from the senior center, my friend from this morning called and said she was free to pick up Elora's bed at the mattress place. We had a good laugh there watching the men rush in and out of the Publix buying flowers for their wives/significant others at 5:30 in the afternoon. Nothing like waiting til the last minute, boys! Even funnier was knowing my own husband was at that very minute buying me flowers at a different Publix down the road. You can't go two miles in this town without tripping over a Publix. Thank God they have great deals or I'd be scared we were in some sort of Stepford grocery invasion!
Bed home, friend thanked, dinner eaten, kids bathed, Brian and I put the bed together. Elora was so excited to have a big girl bed until she saw the crib being put away. Then, she cried! Oh, she cried. Grieved? But, it was short lived as she saw her big girl bed take shape - a big, beautiful mahogany twin bed with turned spindle headboard and footboard. From the forties, maybe? Just perfect for a little girl's room done in a French rose cottage motif. She climbed right up and was immediately fast asleep.
And that brings us to now... the boy and the husband are sitting on the couch killing bunnies on some app on his and my phone. Nice to know we still communicate! (As I sit and type on my laptop ignoring them)
Good night, y'all! And Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day - part I
It's Valentine's Day! Now, can I get some sleep? It is quarter to 1 in the morning, and I have finally finished getting as prepared as I can be for the big day. Cookies made. Valentines created and addressed. Cards signed. Flowers chilling. Not to mention, garbage put by the curb. Dishes in the dishwasher. Children tucked in. Kitchen cleaned. Groceries put away. Crock pot dish stirred and placed on low. Tomorrow's lunch for the boy made. My feet hurt, and for a moment, I wondered why. This is life. This is what Valentine's Day evolves into. Instead of wondering which short, tight little number I will be squeezing into tomorrow night, I will be wearing warm leggings and a sweater as I gaze into the mirror at the traitorous grays sneaking in and the deep lines etching their way deeper and deeper into my forehead. But, I will also wake up to a loving husband and two small impish children who think I hang the moon. Yeah, I have a lot to be grateful for tonight, hurting feet and all.
Monday, February 13, 2012
When will I ever find time for this?
I have been wanting to blog for years now. In the time it took me to finish the previous sentence, I was set upon by my two precocious children begging for pickles, pretzels, and for me to open the blinds behind me. The blinds are closed so the glare won't affect the computer screen. And it was a no on the pickles, but I did get them each a small bowl of pretzels. The pretzels were purchased in bulk from Amazon, and even though we've been eating them for almost a week (and will continue to eat them for at least another week), they don't seem sick of them yet.
My life is full of those hurry up and wait moments, interspersed with periods of doing absolutely nothing but checking Facebook or staring at a wall. Mornings are always the worst since I am absolutely not a morning person, but my children are. I'll fight for even five extra minutes of sleep. Just this morning, my husband bitterly commented that it must be nice to sleep in every day. I squeezed my eyes shut even harder against the day while mumbling that it must nice to go to Starbucks every morning and look forward to a day filled solely with adults and not have to count down the seconds until someone needs their butt wiped. Did he want to switch? He laughed and walked out of the room. He's good about pouring them a bowl of cereal and switching on the cartoons while I try to steal even thirty more seconds of sleep. It doesn't help we don't go to bed until midnight or later. Nighttime has always been when I have the most energy. I was always one of those kids that had to constantly be told to go to bed. It's amazing I even get the boy to school on time when on the days when he is home and we have a play date at ten in the morning, we are invariably half an hour late. No real reason. Just can't get our act together.
I'm hoping to use this blog to talk about some of my favorite things, but also those weird thoughts you get at 1 in the morning when you know you should be sleeping and can't. I also need a place to vent that isn't Facebook and won't be seen by friends and family who will hunt me down and skin me alive for daring to shed light on some of our "issues."
Most importantly, I want this blog to help keep me...me. I feel lost sometimes. I'll suddenly remember a goal or vision I had ten or fifteen years ago that was so all consuming at that moment in my life and today barely survives as an afterthought. Is it possible to hold on to yourself or is change just inevitable? I don't know.
My life is full of those hurry up and wait moments, interspersed with periods of doing absolutely nothing but checking Facebook or staring at a wall. Mornings are always the worst since I am absolutely not a morning person, but my children are. I'll fight for even five extra minutes of sleep. Just this morning, my husband bitterly commented that it must be nice to sleep in every day. I squeezed my eyes shut even harder against the day while mumbling that it must nice to go to Starbucks every morning and look forward to a day filled solely with adults and not have to count down the seconds until someone needs their butt wiped. Did he want to switch? He laughed and walked out of the room. He's good about pouring them a bowl of cereal and switching on the cartoons while I try to steal even thirty more seconds of sleep. It doesn't help we don't go to bed until midnight or later. Nighttime has always been when I have the most energy. I was always one of those kids that had to constantly be told to go to bed. It's amazing I even get the boy to school on time when on the days when he is home and we have a play date at ten in the morning, we are invariably half an hour late. No real reason. Just can't get our act together.
I'm hoping to use this blog to talk about some of my favorite things, but also those weird thoughts you get at 1 in the morning when you know you should be sleeping and can't. I also need a place to vent that isn't Facebook and won't be seen by friends and family who will hunt me down and skin me alive for daring to shed light on some of our "issues."
Most importantly, I want this blog to help keep me...me. I feel lost sometimes. I'll suddenly remember a goal or vision I had ten or fifteen years ago that was so all consuming at that moment in my life and today barely survives as an afterthought. Is it possible to hold on to yourself or is change just inevitable? I don't know.
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